


Take the Pain

by blakefancier



Series: For Your Entertainment [2]
Category: Captain America (2011)
Genre: Child Abuse, Gen, Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-09
Updated: 2011-09-09
Packaged: 2017-10-23 14:31:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/251360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blakefancier/pseuds/blakefancier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are reasons why Howard doesn't allow himself to touch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take the Pain

This is the story he never tells.

When Howard is thirteen, his father beats him for seducing his uncle. His father calls him horrible names, tells him that he should never have been born, says that he should die.

It feels like dying. His face is on fire and he can't breathe, he curls in on himself to protect his belly and his groin.

He's crying.

He tries telling his father that Uncle Morgan was only giving him a shoulder massage. It wasn't like *that.* It wasn't.

Uncle Morgan doesn't say anything. Uncle Morgan doesn't lift a finger—that's when Howard learns that he's alone, that's when he learns that there is no such thing as a white knight (he's twenty-five when he finds out he's wrong).

No one stops his dad, no one ever does.

Howard's mother takes him to the hospital and she tells the doctors he was in fight with some neighborhood boys. He doesn't think they believe her, but they don't question her story.

He's in the hospital for three days. His father visits him once and says, "If I ever catch you again, I'll kill you. Now stop crying. Only sissies cry. Are you a sissy, Howard?"

There's something in his father's eyes, a cold hardness that sends a shiver of fear up Howard's spine. He shakes his head, even though it hurts his cracked jaw, then he tries to hold himself very still.

"Good." His dad walks out and Howard lets out a choked whimper.

He makes rules for himself then: handshakes are all right, a quick pat on the back might be allowed, but nothing else, never anything else. Not from men, at least.

Whenever Howard considers something more, he thinks about the iciness of his father's eyes and the calm, sincere way he said 'I'll kill you.'


End file.
